i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
