An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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