You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
