Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
im about as happy as oj after his trial
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
