So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
