ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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