She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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