if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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