idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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