Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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