Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
