I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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