brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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