dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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