After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
