i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
my liver is dry heaving
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
