Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Everclear isn't food dammit
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
