he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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