I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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