Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
