Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
