She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
