Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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