Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
