Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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