FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
