Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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