she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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