He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
