Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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