There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
