Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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