At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
These tits shall not be calmed
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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