what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
