so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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