I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
