can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
