I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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