Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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