Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
