Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
