I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
