so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
