I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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