I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
