My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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