I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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