Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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