so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
