I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I need a beard to bite.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
