Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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