one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
