You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
