"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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