Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
