I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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