I'm passing your future prison.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
