His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
