i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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