my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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