Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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