Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
