a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
