if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
