I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
