drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
