Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
