so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
