I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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