Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
