one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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