TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
