i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
