Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
